Thursday, June 13, 2013

The Essential Wrongness of Complimenting Physical Beauty.

Yes, there is something essentially wrong about complimenting another woman on her physical appearance. If you're already flailing about in disagreement, let's take a look at a few of the most heavily trafficked social media sites. If there's nothing damaging about females praising each other's physical appearance, why then, are scores of young girls reblogging the same images of frighteningly skinny women and saying "I wish I looked like this!" or why is it that the young women with the most "likes" or "Omg! You're so pretty!" comments on Facebook commonly feature a similar facial structure, body type, and ethnicity? Not to mention, phrases like "I'll be happy when I'm skinny" or "I need to stop eating." that appear all over young women's twitter accounts.

Firstly, society's definition of physical beauty is far more exclusive than it is inclusive. With the majority of women left out of this narrow ideal, a cycle of pursuing unobtainable goals, and the failure that follows such unrealistic desires traps many women into a series of low-self esteem, lack of self-confidence, and even self-hate. Compliments on the basis of outward physical beauty place a heightened importance on physical appearance. If it is the women who happen to fit into this narrow perception of beauty that are repeatedly praised and admired, where does that leave all the women who don’t adhere to this ideal, rather it be due to size, race, sexual identity, etc., etc. Not only are these women not seen as beautiful, but they are not seen as something society has deemed of utmost significance.

Women’s complimenting other women on their looks perpetuates a notion of women as objects of beauty designed to satisfy a male-dominated culture. When beauty is for what women receive acknowledgement, than beauty is what women will strive to obtain, instead of developing intellectually, artistically, or emotionally. Rewarding women for their appearance feeds into a culture that asserts a woman's value is determined by her looks. As women, it is our duty to dismantle societal pressure to adhere to one standard of beauty.

If we are going to focus on the concept of beauty at all, in order for it to be a positive message that does not leave masses feeling less than, it needs to be an all inclusive movement. That is, humanity, as a species, is praised as beautiful, not a specific set of ideals in which one may fit into due to dumb luck or strive to achieve. Imagine a world where a size 14 transgender African American women who prefers to wear her hair natural and does not usually wear make-up has the same worth, and is seen as equally beautiful, as a size 4 blonde 20 something with long mermaid-esque blonde hair, perky breasts, killer abs, and a wide-eyed appearance perfected by MAC cosmetics. Imagine a world where models can have wrinkles, scars, tattoos, and cellulite. Imagine a world where pop stars can be post-menopausal, a billboard woman proudly sports her hijab, and the commercial actress attempting to sell you the latest gotta-have-it product is a plus size Asian with acne.

'Tis much more beneficial to be part of a movement that reminds us, both male and female, of the subjectivity of beauty and disarms the construct that society has too long brainwashed mass culture into worshiping and adhering. As no one chooses the arrangement of their facial features or the thickness of their bone structure, we should pride one another on all that we can control. Instead of reinforcing the idea that the most valuable thing a woman can be is “pretty,” we should appreciate qualities of strength, such as intelligence, humor, courage, talent, and creativity in each other, preferring to possess such character traits ourselves over being “pretty” or “hot.” Our appearances should be something to have fun and playfully experiment, but little more.


Friday, June 7, 2013

If Only.

If the average straight white male

grew as disgusted with slut-shaming as he does Taylor Swift's new single or teenage girls setting their profile pictures to "duck-face" selfies,

was as enraged with men who think having sex with intoxicated women is perfectly legal and justifiable as he is with his hometown's star athlete upon signing with another city's team,

or turned his back to rape jokes as quickly as he does overweight women,

spent half as much time as he does fixated on sports educating his friends on how to respect females,

were as eager to participate in protests addressing the consequences of victim-blaming as he is to lose his virginity, 

were as humiliated to belong to a sex in which 58% would "force a woman to have sex" if they could get away with it as he is when someone suggests he is homosexual

viewed treating women as his equal as "manly" or "masculine" as he does guns, fishing, and hunting

or associated sexual violence and assault with the same weakness he transcribes to crying in public and "chick flicks"

the perpetuation of rape culture would cease to exist. 


Note: Statistic taken from Margo Maine's Body Wars.